A lot people tell me that talking about sex with your partner, laying out boundaries beforehand AND during, communicating and adjusting during, renegotiating boundaries during and after is awkward and “kills the mood.” Now frankly I don’t understand that, communication is awesome and usually makes the whole thing go smoother because I don’t have to worry about doing it right/the way they like it, but maybe it’s just that I’m an extremely verbal person and also tend to be very focused on my partner’s pleasure. But for those of you who do think talking about the details of sex with your partner can be awkward, here are some useful phrases and ways to open the conversation. People who have reblogged this have also added the following questions: “Might you become nonverbal during sex?” “Do you enjoy light touch, deep pressure, or both?” “Can we negotiate in sign language?” “I need my AAC device on the bedside table while we’re fucking.” “If you want to stop, what mode of communication will you use to let me know? Will you be able to initiate communication to tell me to stop, or should I check in at regular intervals? How often should I check in?” “Can I see a social story for this?” “Are there any nonverbal signals I should look for to stop right away?” “to slow down/back off?” “that something is really really good?” “Any sensory sensitivities or triggers?” “Anything you really like?”
Pop-upView Separately

A lot people tell me that talking about sex with your partner, laying out boundaries beforehand AND during, communicating and adjusting during, renegotiating boundaries during and after is awkward and “kills the mood.” Now frankly I don’t understand that, communication is awesome and usually makes the whole thing go smoother because I don’t have to worry about doing it right/the way they like it, but maybe it’s just that I’m an extremely verbal person and also tend to be very focused on my partner’s pleasure.

But for those of you who do think talking about the details of sex with your partner can be awkward, here are some useful phrases and ways to open the conversation.

People who have reblogged this have also added the following questions:

“Might you become nonverbal during sex?”

“Do you enjoy light touch, deep pressure, or both?”

“Can we negotiate in sign language?”

“I need my AAC device on the bedside table while we’re fucking.”

“If you want to stop, what mode of communication will you use to let me know? Will you be able to initiate communication to tell me to stop, or should I check in at regular intervals? How often should I check in?”

“Can I see a social story for this?”

“Are there any nonverbal signals I should look for to stop right away?”

“to slow down/back off?”

“that something is really really good?”

“Any sensory sensitivities or triggers?”

“Anything you really like?”

6157 Notes/ Hide

  1. fromromanceshefled reblogged this from shatteredceruleanangel
  2. shatteredceruleanangel reblogged this from i-love-luci
  3. prettylittlespoilers-sweetie reblogged this from lacigreen
  4. dominodaydreams reblogged this from stfuconservatives
  5. iamjaxraah reblogged this from fuckyeahconsent
  6. lance-dougie reblogged this from wanderwillow
  7. wanderwillow reblogged this from sainthannah
  8. theskullofamoon reblogged this from fuckyeahconsent
  9. theironingpatriot reblogged this from alittlepurpleelephant
  10. darkdiscipleofnyx reblogged this from lacigreen
  11. armedwithinformation reblogged this from littlemissmutant
  12. mischievouslovegood reblogged this from grrrlpower
  13. matgyeol reblogged this from fivesandsevens
  14. grantbond77 reblogged this from xasylumdiaries
  15. duh-bish reblogged this from fivesandsevens
  16. tripl3fuck reblogged this from nopeidc
  17. nopeidc reblogged this from fivesandsevens
  18. whatwouldalidinodo reblogged this from dancewithyourghost
  19. a-personal-jab reblogged this from fuckyeahmelissafabello
  20. backtoforevergirl reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  21. gandalftheunicorn reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  22. keepyourrosariesoffmyovaries reblogged this from dancewithyourghost
  23. smallerontheeeoutside reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  24. ellemagnifique reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  25. piercethewale reblogged this from prettywillswallowyou-forever
  26. prettywillswallowyou-forever reblogged this from whydoistilltry
  27. cumbernoodles reblogged this from dancewithyourghost
  28. whydoistilltry reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  29. dancewithyourghost reblogged this from onceuponapenis
  30. onceuponapenis reblogged this from badbadblacksheep
  31. bunnybravo reblogged this from tinaxxxsimone
  32. ashleymeganlove reblogged this from tinaxxxsimone