A lot people tell me that talking about sex with your partner, laying out boundaries beforehand AND during, communicating and adjusting during, renegotiating boundaries during and after is awkward and “kills the mood.” Now frankly I don’t understand that, communication is awesome and usually makes the whole thing go smoother because I don’t have to worry about doing it right/the way they like it, but maybe it’s just that I’m an extremely verbal person and also tend to be very focused on my partner’s pleasure.
But for those of you who do think talking about the details of sex with your partner can be awkward, here are some useful phrases and ways to open the conversation.
People who have reblogged this have also added the following questions:
“Might you become nonverbal during sex?”
“Do you enjoy light touch, deep pressure, or both?”
“Can we negotiate in sign language?”
“I need my AAC device on the bedside table while we’re fucking.”
“If you want to stop, what mode of communication will you use to let me know? Will you be able to initiate communication to tell me to stop, or should I check in at regular intervals? How often should I check in?”
“Can I see a social story for this?”
“Are there any nonverbal signals I should look for to stop right away?”
“to slow down/back off?”
“that something is really really good?”
“Any sensory sensitivities or triggers?”
“Anything you really like?”
maybe she’s born with it… maybe it’s fotoshop
This is such a funny video.